问题标题:
这篇英文作文刚写的不介意的话不深感激还一个月就考试了紧张Aswecanseeformthepicture,anoldmanwasknockeddownbyacar,buttwopeoplepassedbyrefusedtohelphimandwithvariousofexcuses,suchpheonmenonofco
问题描述:

这篇英文作文刚写的不介意的话不深感激还一个月就考试了紧张

Aswecanseeformthepicture,anoldmanwasknockeddownbyacar,buttwopeoplepassedbyrefusedtohelphimandwithvariousofexcuses,suchpheonmenonofcoldandcrueltywassoastonishingthatwecannothelpaskingwhere'sthechinesevirtuesofgoodsamaritanwhichweformerpursued?

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TherearenumeroustraditionalChinesevirtuesandgoodmoralcharacter,andspiritoftakepleasureinhelpingothersisnodoubtoneofthemostvaluableethicwhichshouldbeencoursedandmaintained.Unfortunately,withtheincreasingpaceofmodernlife,people'slivingcondictionincreasesyearafteryear,buttheconsciousnessofmoralityhasdeclinedyearbyyear,whatarediculousandoddcontrast.WecantakeFoshansmallYue-yuetragedyforexample,itisobviouslyrevealsthatnotsimplyadramaticallydeclineofthemoralitybutalsoaseriouspotentialthreattochinesetraditionalvaluesystem,ifthisspiriteverperishedorbeenfarawayformus,itwouldbeatragedyofimmeasureableproportions.

x05

Accordingly,itisimperativeforustotakesomemeasurestoenhancethesenseofgoodsamaritaninoursociety.Suchlikecarryoutanation-widecampaginpubilcizingourtraditionheroicdeedsandappealtoourgovernmenttorewardpeoplematerialincentivesormedalswhoarereadytohelpothers,onlyinthiswaycanwereestablishvaluefashionguidingpeopletobuildamoreharmonioussociety.

刘广明回答:
  Aswecanseeformthepicture,anoldmanwasknockeddownbyacar,buttwopeople【passing】byrefusedtohelphim【and去掉】withvarious【of去掉】excuses.Suchpheonmenonof【coldness】andcruelty【is】soastonishingthatwecannothelpaskingwhere'sthechinesevirtuesofgoodSamaritanwhichweformerpursued【andworshiped】?      TherearenumeroustraditionalChinesevirtuesandgoodmoralcharacter.【The】spiritoftakingpleasureinhelpingothersisnodoubtoneofthemostvaluable【ethics】whichshouldbe【encouraged】andmaintained.Unfortunately,withtheincreasingpaceofmodernlife,people'slivingcondictionincreasesyearafteryear,buttheconsciousnessofmoralityhasdeclinedyearbyyear.Whatarediculousandoddcontrast!WecantakeFoshansmallYue-yuetragedyforexample,it【is去掉】obviouslyrevealsthat【itis】not【only】a【dramatical】declineofthemoralitybutalsoaseriouspotentialthreattoChinesetraditionalvaluesystem.【Ifthisspirit【had】everperishedorbeenfarawayformus,it【wouldhavebeen】atragedyof【unmeasurable】proportions.【或者这一句全部省去不要】      Accordingly,itisimperativeforustotakesomemeasurestoenhancethesenseofgoodsamaritaninoursociety.【Thisislikecarrying】outanation-widecampagin【publicizing】our【traditional】heroicdeeds【to】appealtoourgovernment【rewarding】people【with】materialincentivesor【giving】medals【tothose】who【havehelped】others.【Only】inthiswaycanwereestablish【ourfinetraditionsandgoodvalues】【andguide】peopleto【building】amoreharmonioussociety.   恕我直言,你的整体文章本来可以很不错,但是,由于过多运用了生僻词或直接来自词典上的、你不熟悉的词,所以,反而增加了失误.   高考书面表达的写作原则:   【不用你没有学过的词,不写你没有写过的句子】.即,你写作中所使用的词汇、句子,都应该是你所学过的、你使用过的、用法和结构搭配你都熟悉的,这样就可能将错误减少到最低限度.   尽管如此,但是看得出来,你的写作功底相当不错!继续努力吧——多用熟悉的词汇、结构和句型,你会写得更好的!   祝你开心如意!O(∩_∩)O~~
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