【写了一个博士英文留学自荐信,水平太差,太中国化求高手相助,使其像一篇地道的留学自荐信,急用,DearProfessor:IamRobbinZhong(Zhongyan-qian),male,borninGuizhou.IwasenrolledbyilinMedicalCollegein2004,maj】|小学英语问答-百百课问答网

问题标题：

【写了一个博士英文留学自荐信,水平太差,太中国化求高手相助,使其像一篇地道的留学自荐信,急用,DearProfessor:IamRobbinZhong(Zhongyan-qian),male,borninGuizhou.IwasenrolledbyilinMedicalCollegein2004,maj】

问题描述：

写了一个博士英文留学自荐信,水平太差,太中国化求高手相助,使其像一篇地道的留学自荐信,急用,

DearProfessor:

IamRobbinZhong(Zhongyan-qian),male,borninGuizhou.IwasenrolledbyilinMedicalCollegein2004,majoringinBiomedicalEngineering.Afterfouryearsofstudy,Inotonlyacquiredknowledgeandskillsbutalsoobtainedavigorouswayofacademicthinkingof.However,Ialsofeelstronglylackofknowledge,soin2008,aftergraduationIwenttoUniversityofShanghaiforScienceandTechnology(USST)tostudyassiduouslyasagraduate.Becauseoftheloveforthefieldofbiomedicalengineering,especiallyforbiomedicalelectronics,Ididnotchangemymajorduringthegraduatebuttocontinuelearninginthisfield.IamabouttograduateinMarch2011.

Whilestudyingcoursesrequiredatschool,Ihavehosted3projectsandparticipatedinone.Also,Itookpartinsomesocialactivitiesinmysparetimetobemuchmoreabletoachievebetterandsocialstandards.

Summingupmylifeincollege,forthelimitationofknowledge,abilitiesandconditionsatthattime,Icouldn’tdosomespecificandin-depthwork.Whileinmylifeofgraduate,basedonthesolidfoundationonelectronics,IhavethechancetoparticipateinanumberofprojectsonbiologicaltissueconductedbymyinstructorsthroughwhichIcanuseengineeringmeanstotrulysolvethemedicalproblemssothatbiomedicalengineeringsystemisfurtherimproved.Andmysubjectofgraduateisgraduallyshiftedfrompureelectronicapplicationstothatwhichdealswithpracticalengineeringproblems.Inthiswaycanitdisplaysareale-sciencereflecttherelativeadvantageofmeansofimplementationofotherprojects.

Ihadalsowonseveralscholarships,andtookpartinNationalUndergraduateElectronicDesignContesttwicerankingthethirdplaceprovincially.Inthesecondclassroom,IhaveusedVbasafrontpanelAccessasdatabasedevelopmentofthe“officeequipmentmanagementsystem”.Inaddition,Ihavealotofhobbieslikechess,badminton,forbadmintonIwasawardedinthecompetition.AlthoughImajorinelectronics,IhaveastronginterestinotherrelatedfieldsinwhichIbelieveIhavetheabilitytodoitwell.Long-termtraininghasmademecheerful,humorous,energetic,liketothink,goodatsummarizingandsolvingproble

胡宾回答：

　　你的英文水平很不错.作为一封自荐信,完全可以. 　　建议在细节方面再仔细检查一下,如　　标点：在butalso之前最好有逗号；　　时态：毕业时间在2011,应该用将来时；　　inmylifeofgraduate,basedonthesolidfoundationonelectronics,Ihavethechanceto... 　　应该用had 　　另外,life的用法也值得商榷,不如用collegelife,或aftergraduation等等. 　　Ihadalsowonseveralscholarships时态应该用现在完成时Ihave... 　　数据库课题名称中的首字母应该大写. 　　另外,However,Ihavemyweaknessofbeingimpetuous.或许可以再斟酌一下. 　　例如,可改为：　　IknowIhavesomeshortcomingssuchasbeingimpetuousatimpropertime,andIamtryingtocorrectit. 　　总之,建议在细节上仔细检查一下. 　　祝你顺利!